My Funny Valentine
by joan3
Summary: Janko Plavac, a man of mystery and an experimental hairdo, arrives at County General to become reacquainted with his old friend, Luka, and fall in love with Randi.


My Funny Valentine

January 29

Kerry glanced one more time at the résumé and then at the applicant. The young man beamed in a glow of quiet certitude. Kerry was really impressed with him and thought he would fill in the role of physician's assistant quite well. She just had to be sure.

"Tell me, Mr. Plavac, do you have any you know habits, like, smoking or drinking?"

The man smiled and crossed his fingers.

"I confess to tasting brandy at Christmas time."

By tasting, what he really meant was being a pisstank but he could _never_ say that.

That was good enough for Kerry. She rose from her desk and extended her hand to the man.

"Welcome aboard."

By that, she meant he was hired. He was catching on pretty quickly.

January 31

Carter sipped the coffee thoughtlessly. It had a funny taste that he gradually acquired. No wonder Kovac didn't drink the stuff, he thought. Being from Europe, Kovac probably used to the best. The coffee considered sucky by European standards was certainly superior here. When Carter made the comment aloud, Kerry responded before leaving the lounge by saying they had another Croat on staff.

"Oh great!" Carter huffed. "Another moping member of the Grateful UnDead!"

Such a comment would never be made in Kovac's presence in fear that he might not understand it or he might morph into an unholy creature of the night and start killing people.

A spritely man whistled his way into the lounge, helped himself to some coffee and sat next to Carter.

"Hello!" he chirped.

Immediately, the man turned on the radio and fiddled with the dial until he found a station he liked. The funky sounds of Isaac Hayes filled the lounge. The man started to hum along to the song, even making the boom-chicka-wacka sounds.

Carter tried to get his attention.

"Excuse me!"

The man didn't hear him. He just went along with the song.

"Excuse me!" Carter shouted above the din.

The man turned around, beaming.

"Oh! Hello again! You like this song?"

"No!" Carter complained. "Can you turn if off?"

Gallant and Pratt had wandered into the lounge.

"But he's talking about Shaft!" Pratt protested.

"I can dig it," Gallant cheerfully added.

And the three who _did_ want to hear the song moved and sang along with great gusto. Pratt on the low parts, Gallant and the smiling man on the high parts.

Carter only huffed and walked out of the lounge.

Romano had decided long ago that he didn't give a rat's ass about the rest of the staff. But there was something he did notice.

Janko Plavac was noticeably different from his compatriot, Luka Kovac. He had a burr of strawberry-blond hair and gray eyes that sparkled when he smiled (and he smiled a lot). He was more open and friendly. He intimated he was from the coast and had a fairly large family. Romano had no real idea where Luka was from (nor did he care) and always assumed he had been born in 1513 (and did not look a day over twenty five thanks to regular infusions of the fresh blood of virgins) to Countess Ludmilla Kovac, second cousin to Vlad Tepes, who made a deal with an incredibly attractive demon from hell in exchange for a strapping son (she was not disappointed). Romano wished Luka would not mentor Ceila Kowalski, the student nurse from Canada, because he felt she bore a slight resemblance to Winona Ryder and he could see where_ that_ was going. Nevertheless, Janko did not really resemble his countryman with the exception of the passport and an unusual tallness (perhaps everyone from his part of the world was tall). The Croat smiled and laughed and gave everyone nicknames, a habit that was annoying. He called Kerry Chief and Kowalski Snowbird.

Romano sighed. Another fly in the ointment.

February 1

Another day of work.

Abby slammed the alarm clock off and staggered out of bed. She had to get at least one cup of coffee before getting several cups at work. She wandered automatically into the kitchen and fixed the coffee. She let her tired eyes wander about the place. Abby lifted the newspaper from the kitchen table and scanned it.

"Oh!" she gasped. "A plane seat sale to Dinosaur Island. Just in time for Valentine's Day."

Abby then remembered what Luka had told her. Dinosaur Island is only a name. It is actually a peninsula. She huffed and threw her head back.

It was another one of life's little disappointments.

Kerry looked at her watch.

"They're late!"

By they, Kerry meant Luka, Susan, Abby, Carter, Chen practically everyone who worked in the ER.

Kerry looked at the snow piling up outside. She didn't understand why half the staff was late. She made it here. Student Nurse Kowalski made it here but, being from northern Canada, snow and cold did not faze her in the slightest. The young woman would take her snow-shoes or her uncle's dogsled team (which she had done) to work if she had to.

Randi trudged in, trampling snow all over the place.

"Sorry, Boss," she apologised. "It's getting crazy out there."

Kerry took that with a grain of salt.

"It's great to have you with us."

Randi placed her coat and scarf away in her locker and started answering phones.

Chen burst into the ER, ever vigilant of unidentified flying objects rolled to perfection by Carter. She hid in the hallway.

"Jing Mei!"

Chen swiveled her head around. Kerry looked especially cross this morning.

"Jing Mei, you are supposed to be in by nine. It is now quarter after nine!"

Chen rolled her eyes.

"Sorry," she offered feebly, "traffic."

Kerry wouldn't hear of it.

"Not good enough!"

Chen rolled her eyes again. She opened the door to the lounge to place her things in her locker.

"Be careful!" Kerry warned. "Kowalski brought her dogsled team to work!"

Chen found herself cornered by four Siberian huskies.

A few minutes later, Susan and Carter followed Chen's belated suit.

"You two are late!" Kerry sirened.

Susan grimaced as she juggled a bagel and a coffee. Both she and Carter made their way into the lounge.

Dogs barked and Susan cried out.

"Dammit, Kowalski!"

Kerry looked at her watch. It was nearly nine thirty and Kovac and Lockhart were nowhere to be seen.

The el train huffed along at a slower rate of speed. From it stepped Luka and Abby. They cautiously looked at one another. They both rode the el train together, not speaking a word to each other, and both knew they were late. Kerry, they quietly surmised to themselves, would have their heads. They ran carefully down the el stairs.

Abby broke the silence.

"It took five guys from my apartment to dig out the entrances."

Luka had his own story to tell.

"The snow banks were so high with soft, fluffy snow, I was forced to jump onto the highest one and make snow angels in it."

That perplexed Abby.

"What?" Luka asked.

They heard some angry growling.

Luka put his finger to his lips and gazed down. A polar bear was rummaging through the rubbish.

Abby and Luka wasted no time getting inside the hospital.

By the time Luka and Abby ran in it was nine thirty.

The two went to work, hoping not to run into Kerry.

"Kovac, Lockhart!"

Busted.

"You are late!" she scolded.

Luka was not really afraid of Kerry. He tried to play innocent.

"Me?"

Kerry pursed her lips in anger.

"No! I mean the other scrawny ass Croat who works here!"

"Here I am, Chief!" Janko piped up, oblivious to her sarcasm.

"Not you, Janko!" she snapped.

She resumed her attentions to Luka and Abby.

"You two can get here on time."

Luka paid no heed to Kerry's warning. His eyes followed the other scrawny ass Croat working at the ER.

The tall tow-headed man worked cheerfully, oblivious to the much taller man following him.

"Janko! Janko Plavac!" Luka cried out.

Janko turned around. He gaped. He could not believe it.

"Šime!"

Luka embraced his friend whom he had not seen in years.

People peered around the corner at the two Euro-tall guys embracing happily. It was a touching scene, even though nobody knew anything about them.

Luka broke his embrace from Janko.

"Janko! How are you? I haven't seen you in years! What have you been doing?" 

Janko's smile broadened, if such a thing were possible.

"I was in Dubrovnik. I was studying." 

The happy dialogue was broken by a pointless intrusion.

"Maybe you guys should say that in English!"

Luka rolled his eyes.

"Americans can't mind their own business." 

Janko unhappily conceded with the point.

As the men turned around, there were confronted by various staff whose purpose it was to be busy-bodies.

"You never said anything in English," Chuny said. "What was it that you said?"

Abby shoved her out of the way.

"Luka, aren't you going to introduce me to your new friend?"

Luka's brow fell.

"He's not a new friend," he explained. "We knew each other at the Medicinski Fakultet Sveuilišta u Zagrebu."

"Where's that?" Abby asked.

Luka rolled his eyes again.

"Somewhere near Russia," he lied wearily and moved on.

Kerry got in Luka and Janko's way.

"No one is more pleased than I about your new friend," she said, "but there's work to be done."

She took Janko by the arm.

"There are labs that need to be run," she informed the happy Croat.

Luka was dismayed at the temporary separation from his friend.

"Don't worry, Šime! I will see you later!" Janko promised.

Luka smiled once more. That plan would work all right.

The place was abuzz with Luka and Janko's friendship. Most people speculated that they knew each other (most probably so) in Croatia but would not be satisfied until they heard it from Luka's pretty lips.

That prompted Kerry to put an end to the speculations and ask Luka outright, and thereby end the prattling and resume the working.

Luka replaced a file in it the correct slot.

"Luka?"

Luka noticed Kerry standing before him.

"Yes, Kerry?"

"Can I ask you something about Plavac?" she wondered.

Luka wrote something down on a form.

"Yes."

"How do you know him?" she asked.

"I don't," Luka revealed.

He stopped and reflected on his answer.

"That's not true. We were like brothers!"

This puzzled Kerry.

"Did you go to school with him or were you neighbours?" she asked.

Luka ignored her.

Kerry found his reluctance to answer disquieting.

"Luka?"

He lifted his head from the form he was signing.

"Yes?"

Kerry's expression now softened.

"I assume you were neighbours with Plavac."

Luka scowled at her.

"They say that words hurt more than physical slights," he pouted. "I shall prove them wrong when I hit you with this spoon."

Kerry looked puzzled.

"What spoon?"

Luka picked up a spoon from a disused coffee mug resting on the admittance desk.

"You really walk into these things, don't you, Kerry?" he snapped.

Luka tapped Kerry on the head with the spoon and marched away.

Susan was furious at the act.

"That was a perfectly good spoon!"

Kerry gaped at her as she rubbed away Luka's inflicted hurt.

Everyone around agreed none of this made sense.

Kerry was still hurt, or rather, angered by the spoon incident.

People's tongues wagged.

It wasn't like Luka to not be guilted into telling them what they wanted to know. They resolved to know what Luka may or may not have been hiding, using any means necessary.

Romano found himself in the ER (again). Abby now knew a way to get Luka to reveal his true relationship with Janko.

Abby ran along side Romano.

"Go away, Lockhart!" he warned without looking at her.

"We need your expertise," Abby said.

"You always do and I'm the only person who can give it!" Romano asserted.

"Yeah," Abby agreed for the moment. "We want you to make someone do something they don't want to do. You're good at that."

Romano stopped walking.

"Yes!" he cried. "Yes, I am!"

He stopped and dramatically placed his hands on his hips.

"What do I need to do?"

Abby stepped in front of him.

"There is a man who won't tell us what we want to know. We need you to make him tell us."

He joined fingers together evilly.

"Must a power drill be used?"

Abby became uneasy.

"Uh, no, just berate him. That might work."

Romano scowled at her apparent squeamishness.

"All right!" he pouted. "We'll try it your way!"

Abby led Romano to Luka who was now working on a chart.

"Hey, Eurocrat! Tell me everything I want to know or I'm calling the INS!"

Luka put down his chart.

"Alright! I'll tell you!"

Everyone gathered around and waited with baited breath for the truth.

His hazel eyes peered into the distant- and painful- past.

"You may judge us but we did what we had to in order to survive!"

Luka tried to contain his fragile emotions.

"Our plane had crashed in the mountains. We were forced to do the unthinkable to stay alive!"

Luka and Janko had ventured far from the plane and down the mountainside to find help. They had journeyed for days, risking life and limb. Finally, starving and filthy yet alive, they gasped at the sight of level ground. At last, they had breached the mountains.

Romano was not convinced.

"Yeah, that was the script for _Alive_. Try again, wise-asses!"

Luka spun around with his own retort.

"Bite me, Short-stuff!"

And he left Romano incensed.

Romano gaped.

"Not only did he lie to me," Romano gasped, "but he thought he'd get away with the "short" comment!"

Romano rubbed his hands together.

"I'll show him- him and that little friend of his!"

Romano skulked away to darkened corners of the hospital plotting his revenge.

Chen huffed.

"I can't believe anyone would stoop so low as to eat dead people!"

Carter was annoyed with Chen.

"I can't see _you_ surviving an ordeal like that!"

Chen sat amid the wounded rag-tag band of plane crash survivors.

"Ew!" she groaned. "You ate someone from coach?!"

"Yeah!" Carter huffed. "You couldn't do it!"

Chen only scowled at Carter. Whatever else she may be, she thought, she wasn't an eater of people who sat in coach and that was how she could live with herself.

No sooner had Carter left an annoyed Chen then he saw to a patient. But this exercise was soon to be short-lived for there was trouble at the well.

One of Ceila's huskies barked at Carter.

Carter looked down on the magnificent-looking dog.

"What's that, girl?"

The husky barked.

"A little boy is stuck in a well?" Carter quizzed.

The husky barked again.

"The old mill, you say?"

Again, a bark.

Carter looked determined.

"Lead on!"

Carter followed the husky...to danger!

Break time had finally arrived. Abby hung around in the lounge and tried to make herself inconspicuous. The need to know Janko and Luka's backstory gnawed at her, much like the polar bear outside eating the rubbish. She hid in an empty locker and watched the two friends as they met in the lounge.

Luka shook Janko's hand warmly.

"It's been too long, Janko!" 

Janko slapped Luka on the shoulder.

"I missed you, Šime- your friendship, your strength, your casual drunkenness and promiscuity." 

Luka tried to hush that nasty little fact.

Janko sighed.

"Ah, the years have been too long!" 

Janko sighed again.

"Do you remember Almeria?" 

Luka twitched.

"I try not to." 

Janko laughed.

"Of course you don't! You can't! With all that you drank!" 

Abby lost her footing and fell from her hidden space. Janko and Luka were jarred by her sudden appearance.

"After work, maybe?" Janko offered.

Luka nodded.

"Meet me in Little Zagreb," he said. "At Aristotle's."

Janko nodded.

"I know where it is. I will see you there."

Janko left the lounge.

Luka now scowled at Abby.

"You were spying on me!"

Abby shook her head.

"No, I wasn't!"

Luka glared at her until she wrung her hands in guilt.

"To put it another way, I was," she ultimately admitted.

Luka was about to leave in disgust but Abby grabbed his arm.

"No, Luka, wait!"

Luka stopped but was having hard time hiding his impatience with her prying.

"What about Almeria?" Abby asked.

Luka's expression softened. He placed a gentle hand on Abby's shoulder.

"I can't lie to you, Abby."

With that, Luka left the lounge.

Abby's jaw fell open.

"That's not an answer!"

She ran after Luka.

"I need an answer!"

Luka and Abby walked past a newspaper reporter asking Carter and even the husky questions about how they bravely saved a little boy stuck in a well. But Abby would get no answers from Luka.

Business at Aristotle's was brisk, despite the cold weather. When Janko opened the doors to the establishment, he saw his old friend sitting there, a cigarette in his fingers and a smile on his face. Luka blew out smoke from his ribbon lips and beckoned his friend over.

Janko was extremely pleased. He sat next to his friend and shook his hand warmly.

"It's been too long, Šime."

Luka nodded.

"You're telling me!"

Luka mashed out his cigarette.

"Where did you go after Almeria?"

Janko laughed.

"Where _didn't_ I go?"

Janko pressed his fingertips against the tabletop.

"The question is: where did _you _go?"

Luka immediately reached for a cigarette, lit it and looked into the distance, his head tilted to the side and his eyes taken a golden shine. Janko caught the nervousness and rapidity of his old friend's response. He had seen it before, many times before, and every time he saw it Janko felt bad for having said or done something to trigger the response. Luka had always been a reserved sort but Janko felt he was a brother to him. Indeed, he knew things Luka's family probably did not know.

"I went away," Luka answered at last.

Janko nodded carefully.

"Well, I was busy making myself useful."

Luka laughed.

"You were always useful! What the hell are you talking about?"

Janko's expression turned serious.

"I didn't feel that way."

Luka flicked the ash from his cigarette.

"You should have. You did a lot of good. I don't know why you didn't see it."

Luka paused before returning the cigarette to his lips.

"You couldn't stop what was happening, Janko, and you shouldn't hate yourself for trying."

Janko did not look at Luka.

"That doesn't help Saša or my nephew or Karlo."

Luka looked ahead of him and continued smoking.

"Nothing ever will."

Aristotle, the owner of the establishment, approached the two of them.

"Šime, have you approached your limit?"

Luka held up a finished glass of vodka and smiled.

"Nearly."

A beaming smile touched Aristotle's face. He turned to Janko.

"Can you believe this guy?" he pointed at Luka.

Janko grinned.

"Yeah. How do you know Luka?"

"He is like my son," Aristotle answered and placed his hand on Luka's shoulder.

Janko extended his hand to him.

"Then we must be related. Janko Plavac."

Aristotle shook Janko's hand. His brow furrowed.

"Are you Bosnian?"

Janko was careful.

"Only if you are."

Aristotle chuckled wryly.

"Where are you from?"

"Dubrovnik," Janko replied.

"A long way from home," Aristotle pointed out.

"We all are," Luka returned as he took a bottle of vodka from behind the bar.

Aristotle grabbed the bottle from Luka and poured some into Luka's empty glass.

"So you two work together?" Aristotle asked.

Luka cast a quick look at Janko.

"We do now."

Aristotle nodded.

"Conspire together, more like it."

Aristotle replaced the bottle in its original position behind the bar.

"Just make sure you don't do anything crazy, Šime."

With that, he left the two men.

Luka knocked back the vodka.

"You heard him! Let's do something crazy!"

Janko laughed. It was going to be a long night.

February 2

The cold and snowy weather had not abated since yesterday. It didn't bother Janko. In fact, very little, it seemed, bothered him.

He bounced into work with his tasseled toque and a smile for everyone.

"Hello, everyone!"

People feebly waved back and cursed his impossible cheer.

Just as Janko disappeared into the lounge, Frank leaned over to Susan.

"What's with Yugo the Happy Slav?" he asked.

Susan tried to hide her eye-roll. Frank had a slur for everyone, she thought.

"He's just a happy guy, Frank."

Frank huffed.

"What's he happy about?"

Susan offered an unusual guess.

"Making snow angels?"

Frank nodded.

"Yeah, they are nice!"

Now Susan was the one with unanswered questions.

Janko, for a change, was now working with his old friend, Luka, and not the other staff members who constantly questioned him. Janko would not answer but smile in his own friendly way. Now they saw to a patient who came in with seizures. The student nurse from Canada was with them. Janko struck up a conversation with her.

"Are you from Vancouver?" he asked.

Ceila lifted her head from fixing the IV on the patient.

"No, I'm from Chesterfield Inlet."

Janko looked confused.

"Is that near there?"

Ceila shook her head and smiled. Loose black curls bounced on her head.

"No. Nowhere near it."

Luka returned to the bedside.

"Do you have the labs?" he asked Ceila.

Ceila gave Luka the bullet on the patient.

"The preliminary labs came back. Negative for narcotics."

Luka nodded.

"Enzymes?"

She shook her head.

"Not back yet."

"Go see if they are ready yet, please," he asked.

Ceila nodded her head and went to the lab.

Janko looked at Ceila as she hurried for the lab results.

"She looks like Danni." 

Luka's gentle demeanor changed. Janko had resurrected a painful memory and he could see the hurt of it on Luka's face. It cowed him. He hid his face from his friend and hung his head.

Between the two there was silence. Janko could not breach it after his inadvertent slight.

Ceila reappeared with the lab results.

"I asked the lab guys to put a rush order on it just for you," she chirped.

Luka smiled and took the lab results from her.

Janko was secretly relieved that the silence was now broken.

Abby watched Janko from afar. He was still happy, still chirpy and still friends with Luka, and neither of them would give her answers about anything. She hated not being privy to gossip. It irked her. She swore revenge- in a nonviolent way.

"What _is_ with Luka and the new guy, any way?"

Kerry shrugged.

"I stopped caring after Luka hit me with the spoon."

Ceila was replacing charts in their correct slots.

"A sticky beak gathers no spoons, Dr. Weaver," she said.

_Lousy Canadians_, Kerry thought.

Pratt weighed in with his thoughts.

"He's a nice guy. Maybe a little _too_ cheerful but hey! At least he doesn't tie up the phone or anything!"

Gallant agreed.

"He does his work and smiles at everyone!"

"He smiles _all_ the time," one of the nurses said.

Kerry had to agree with the staff's assessment.

"He _is_ unbelievably cheery."

The plutonium-dimmed tide was loosed. The world was changed utterly...or something.

Kerry, her face stained with smoke, and her clothes ripped, gazed at the destruction left by the nuclear bomb.

"My God! A nuclear holocaust will be the end of us!"

Janko emerged from the rubble.

"Hey, everyone! I found a penny!"

Abby was solid to herself.

"I say that if there is a nuclear holocaust, we eat Janko first!"

Everyone was in agreement.

Luka gave Janko a quick run-down of how the ER worked.

"In America, you gotta make the money first," he informed Janko. "When you get the money, then you get the power. When you get the power, then you get the women."

Janko nodded profusely.

"Another thing," Luka added. "Americans can't speak English."

Janko agreed.

Pratt, however, could not.

Abby was growing more livid by the moment. Romano's efforts to make Luka reveal his ties to Janko had failed. She would explore another avenue. She pestered Pratt into asking Janko for his backstory.

Pratt looked uncomfortable as he was padded toward Janko.

"Uh, so, Janko, um...what part of...that...place are you from?"

Abby slapped her head. She wondered if Pratt could be any more inarticulate.

"I am from Dubrovnik," Janko replied. "It's in Croatia."

None of this enlightened Pratt but he didn't want to appear stupid. Janko could sense that from the look of child-like confusion on his face.

"It's across from Italy," he supplied.

Pratt nodded.

"Is that, like, where you met Kovac?"

Janko's cheerful expression disappeared.

"No..." he negated unsteadily.

Janko gripped the counter of the admittance desk.

"I was a fugitive from justice..."

There was nowhere to run in the water-filled tunnel. He would be caught by Luka the marshal sooner or later.

He heard the distinctive click of a Glock.

"Don't move!" Luka cried. "Raise your hands high and turn around!"

Janko raised his hands high.

"I didn't do anything!"

Luka still pointed the gun at him.

"I don't care!"

Janko turned around and leapt from the dam.

Pratt, now realising how fantastically he had been had, squared his jaw.

"You know, you could have just said it was none of my business."

Janko wrung his hands.

"I didn't want to be rude."

Pratt huffed and walked away from Janko.

The day was wearing on, like Abby's patience.

Her fists were curled when she confronted Luka about Janko.

"Are you going to tell us about you and Janko or not!" she demanded.

"Alright!" Luka cried out in frustration. "We were on the ocean, the three of us, hunting down a great white beast that terrorised our town."

Pratt happened to chance by.

"Hey! Why don't you tell us the time you and Janko saved Tokyo from Mothra?!" he suggested.

"Funny you should mention that," Luka started.

Abby cried out in anger and stamped away, hiding in a suture room. Ceila was there putting away supplies.

She glanced at Abby and returned to her chore.

"Didn't get the answer you wanted, did you?"

She grimaced at the girl. She always had an answer for things, Abby thought.

"No!" Abby snapped.

"Look," Ceila pointed out, "if they don't want to tell you then they're not going to tell you. And it's none of your business, anyway."

Ceila casually replaced supplies in the cupboards.

"Besides, the more you care about it, the more they'll hold out."

Abby's face lit up with recognition.

"Of course!"

Abby ran out of the suture room.

"Thanks, Kowalski!" she cried after her.

Abby carefully tiptoed to where Luka and Janko were talking. She did her best to be obvious.

"OH, I totally don't care about Luka and Janko!" she loudly proclaimed.

"Not telling you anything," Luka said.

"Dammit!" Abby cussed.

She stamped away again, promising vengeance on that damn Canadian.

February 4

It was another cold day in Chicago. Frank had his day off and Janko was still on day-shift. He bade his usual good mornings to the staff and immediately got to work. He could see there was an argument in progress.

"You did _not_ take down Mothra and Godzilla!" Yosh angrily maintained.

"Yes we did!" Luka angrily insisted. "We were even in that REM video. We were behind that car that was in front of that other car."

There was no movement on the highway. People could only sit in their cars and be at one with their subtitled thoughts, even Croats who visiting the other one's cousin.

_Everybody hurts..._

"What's going on?"

"I don't know. Some people have gotten out of their cars."

_Everybody cries..._

"I'll call my cousin and tell her we'll be late."

"I like her chicken."

"She knows you do."

_Everybody hurts..._

"I hope she won't be angry with us."

"She won't."

"Why isn't anyone moving?"

_Sometimes..._

Carter started laughing.

"Oh, these are classic! Now make one up where you two have to foil Sideshow Bob!"

Yosh did not find this amusing. He swivelled to Janko.

"Are you going to tell us something crazy, too?"

Janko shrugged.

"If Šime says we did it, then that's what we did!"

Yosh only walked away, frustrated by the two men's insane claims.

Carter became confused. He turned to Luka.

"Can I hear the one where you two had to land a plane on a desert island. Then strange footprints appeared in the sand and you thought you were going crazy or that you couldn't trust the other one but it turned out that Colombian drug-dealers were also on the island and you forgot your differences and fought against them?"

Luka put his hand on Carter's shoulder.

"Not today."

This made Carter sad.

An MVA came in. The relative quiet of the ER ended after a car slid on the icy road and hit a telephone pole. Everyone was mobilised. It was something they had done countless number of times.

Janko was sent out to get the x-rays and labs. He was racing back-and-forth, delivering x-rays and labs, stopping to set bones or apply butterfly sutures. It was when he was sent on another errand that his life changed (so he thought).

Janko stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes locked on urban velour-dressed brunette loveliness whose name was Randi. She swished her deep chestnut hair back. Janko watched as she swayed over to the telephone. He needed to hear the euphonic voice of this tempting siren.

"Hey, Plavac!" Romano cried. "Get your ass over here!"

Janko was jolted. The dream, for the mean time, was over.

Janko swore to himself that she would, in the near future, be his.

The action had died down.

Janko knew what he would do. He would walk up to Randi, introduce himself and charm her. He could do it. There was nothing to it.

He could see in his mind's eye what he would do and say.

Suavely, he would kiss her hand and say: _My name is Janko and _you_ are beautiful._

Perhaps he would be slightly bashful and sweet. _Excuse me, miss, but I can't get you out of my mind._

He was only centimetres from her.

She looked at him with indifferent eyes.

"Yes?"

He couldn't get the silly grin off his face but he had to act or lose her forever.

"You're so pretty!" he blurted out.

He cussed to himself and wished a boulder would land on him.

Randi nodded, having heard that before.

"O-kay."

Randi pored over her magazine.

Janko, stung by his own bumbling, tried to get her back.

"Please!" he cried.

Randi looked at him again.

"Are you the guy who, like, went to school with Dr. Kovac?" she asked.

Janko cocked his head to the side.

"Something like that, yes."

Randi smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, I heard about you."

She was smiling. Janko thought he was making progress.

"Would you..." he stammered. "Would you like...?"

Randi waited for him to finish.

"Like what? Like eating food?" she supplied.

Janko smiled and nodded.

"Oh, yes. I like eating food."

He slapped his head and cussed again.

Randi only laughed. She leaned on the admittance desk.

"Are you asking me out for dinner, like a date?"

Janko nodded fervently.

She smiled and shrugged.

"Sure, whatever," she agreed. "After my shift. Take me somewhere nice."

Randi looked away and answered the phone.

Janko was pleased with himself. He adjusted his tie and smiled quietly to himself.

"I am _so_ suave!"

He spoke too soon. A gurney crashed right into him and sent him to the floor.

Dr. Newport was like Romano in that he hated being anywhere but the surgery ward. He saw it as an inconvenience, something that should be remedied by runners or nurses who acted as runners. Anything but having to do his own footwork. He waited by the admittance desk, tapping his fingers impatiently on the counter.

"You know," he rattled to Randi, "I really shouldn't have to wait."

She did not look up.

"You, me and everybody."

Dr. Newport only huffed. No one, it seemed, could empathize with his concerns.

Kerry threw her head back and huffed when she saw Dr. Newport.

"I hate this guy!"

Kerry pulled Ceila aside and gave her some folders.

"Ceila, you're doing rotation in the surgery, right? Please give these to Dr. Newport," she asked. "If he wonders where I am, tell him I'm busy or something. Anything."

Ceila, not really knowing what to think, only did as she was asked. She walked to the waiting surgeon and handed him the folders.

"Here are the reports you wanted, Dr. Newport," Ceila said.

Dr. Newport, not expecting the student nurse, smiled a little.

"Oh, thank you."

Ceila nodded, smiled a little out of politeness and left Dr. Newport to his own devices.

Dr. Newport would have been all too happy to have left but did not move, only watching the student nurse walk away. He at last left for the elevator.

Dr. Newport stepped into the empty elevator and crossed his hands. Slowly, the Muzak crept into his mind and wove its way into thoughts he kept to himself.

The student nurse, he decided, was quite a yummy dish. Sweet-faced, quick-footed, flexible. He smiled quietly to himself as he thought of her. He could see her in his mind's eye. Her black hair was undone and fell in soft tousles on her shoulders. She smiled seductively at him, inviting him. His silly grin broadened. Red maples leaves seemed to fly from her open scrub top.

His intimate thoughts would have to wait. He was back on the surgery floor. He would have to manufacture a reason to be in the ER once more.

Janko waited by the bay doors. The snow was falling in thick clumps. He shoved his hands in his pockets and peered inside for Randi. When she came out, he jumped on his toes and went toward her.

Randi was not expecting him. She wrapped her scarf around her neck slowly.

"I thought you went home."

"Oh, no!" he shook his head. "I promised I'd take you to get something to eat."

He linked arms with her.

"I'll take you to where you can eat the best tomato-root soup in town."

Randi dragged her feet.

"What if I don't like tomato-root soup?"

Janko guffawed.

"Sure you do!"

He rubbed her hands.

"My God! Your hands are like ice!"

He blew on them but Randi did not appreciate the gesture. She withdrew her hands.

"Let's just get some food."

Janko nodded.

"It's not far."

Randi followed Janko into the heavily falling snow.

Not far from the hospital, a small Eastern European diner catered to only two people- Randi and the ever-excitable Janko.

Randi had to admit that the soup was delicious and the company even more so.

Janko could not stop talking about things that made him happy- dogs, the snow, the buildings he had seen in books, how people were very friendly. When he asked her what made her happy, she could not answer. She thought hard.

"I don't know."

Janko cocked his head from side-to-side.

"Well- let's start simple. What food do you like?"

"Aside from the soup?" she asked.

Janko nodded.

"I knew you'd like it."

She shrugged.

"I dunno. Strawberries, I guess."

Janko's eyes lit up again.

"I love strawberries. My mother and I would pick them all the time!"

Randi scoffed a little.

"Is there some weird backstory to that?'

Janko shook his head.

"I don't think so."

"'Cause I can ask around," Randi pressed.

"I assure you," Janko promised, "that's all there is to it."

Janko now noticed the time.

"It's late."

He pulled Randi's chair out from the table and helped her up.

"Let me take you home."

"Think I can't make it home by myself?" Randi pressed. "I'm a big girl."

Janko nodded.

"I know but what kind of man would I be if I let you be covered in all this snow and in this neighbourhood, too, where no one has a snow shovel to dig you out?!"

Randi laughed.

"Yeah, that's one of my biggest fears."

Janko held the door of the diner open for her.

"Really? One of my biggest fears is wasps in open cans of soft drinks. Is that your fear, too?"

Randi laughed.

"You're a nob, Plavac!"

"I hide it by smiling," Janko replied.

Though the long day at the hospital was over that still didn't mean Dr. Newport was free from worry. His wife complained about everything- the snow removal service, the community organisation to which they belonged, the kids' school. It all gave Dr. Newport a headache. He lay back and shut his eyes. When he opened them, he could see that student-nurse again. She was there, splayed out on the ceiling covered in rich red maple leaves. Soon everything disappeared- the kids, his wife's nagging, and the worries of the job. It all just floated away with the leaves and the white plastic bag.

February 5

The snow had not let up once. It irked Randi. Maybe Janko was right, she thought. She should bring a shovel to dig herself out. She laughed to herself. She was taking the ingenuous man seriously and thought it normally would have bothered her to take a single date seriously, it didn't this time. Janko was on the level. It was hard to see him otherwise.

When Randi arrived, there was a bowl of strawberries at her station. She took one, dangled it in her fingers like something she hadn't seen before and looked a little baffled. Yes, she thought, Janko was certainly on the level.

Jerry saw Randi's gift and grinned at the curious novelty of it.

"Somebody likes you."

She grimaced at him.

"Shut up, Markovic!"

Randi moved the bowl from the view of the people at the admittance desk. She looked about carefully to see if Janko was at work today.

In the quaint antiqueness of Little Zagreb, Janko was still getting dressed in his apartment. Dressed only in a towel, he danced in front of the mirror and sang to himself.

"Oh Randi! You came and you...something and something. Lalalalala...oh Randi!"

He wondered if she got the strawberries he ordered.

Janko finally arrived at work. He was as cheerful as ever, even as he bandaged a senior citizen's leg.

Abby peered at him from a distance. Every smile he smiled, every chuckle, every wink, everything he did weighed on her, irritated her, scorned her inability to figure him out.

Jerry took Abby aside.

"Do you still want to know about Plavac?" he asked.

Abby was agape.

"And how! But everything we've done up until now has been unsuccessful. If we try again, we'll get an account of how he and Luka thwarted Darth Vader's attempts to destroy the universe."

Jerry edged closer.

"Malik and I have been thinking. If we listen carefully, we can find out some things. There are kernels of truth in everything they say," Jerry said.

Abby's brow furrowed.

"How do you mean? We've been run around since the word go. All we get when we ask is how they single-handedly defeated Godzilla while camping in France or something."

Jerry shook his head.

"He says things, revealing things," Jerry pointed. "You just have to listen carefully."

Jerry leaned in closer.

"He said he was from this city...Dubvik or something. He also has lots of people in his family. And a cousin."

Abby leaned closer.

"Let's find that personnel file."

Abby waited outside the personnel office and whistled auspiciously.

Jerry came out with a very thin file.

"This was all I could find."

Abby seemed a little annoyed but decided something was better than nothing.

"Let's see what it says."

Jerry looked into the file.

"We should contact the following should anything happen: Amanda Huggenkiss, Oliver Kloesoff, George Templeton Lantry and Homer Sexual."

Abby's jaw fell.

"It does_ not _say that!"

Jerry nodded.

She slapped her hand to her head.

"I will kill that Euro-bastard if it's the last thing I do!"

"No more Mr. Nice Guy!" Abby swore as she stormed into the drug lock-up.

"What are we gonna do?" Jerry asked.

Abby pulled out a vial of sodium pentothal.

"Leave that to me!"

While Janko was replacing a suture kit, Jerry grabbed him from behind and carried him to the relative privacy of a darkened treatment room. He pinned the Croat down as Abby injected him with sodium pentothal.

"What are you doing?!" Janko cried.

"Trying to get a straight answer!" Abby callously replied.

She nodded for Jerry to let Janko out of his arm lock.

"In a few minutes, you'll tell us everything we want to know," Abby mocked with a self-satisfied look on her face.

Janko rubbed the place where he was injected.

"I don't know what the hell you are thinking," he replied grumpily, "but this won't work. And it's assault!"

Abby did not appear worried.

"I don't think you'll remember anything, Plavac!"

His gray eyes began clouding over. He doubled over on a gurney.

"We'll see about... that..."

Janko's head wobbled from side-to-side. The sodium pentothal was working.

"Tell us what we want to know!" Abby demanded.

"Yes..." he wheezed. "First..."

She waited.

"One...cup...sour cream, one cup...mayonnaise, chopped sun-dried tomatoes, dried basil..."

Abby huffed exasperatedly.

"Potato chip dip..."

Jerry couldn't believe it.

"You mean- he has an immunity to this stuff?"

Abby slunk back against a wall.

"It looks like it..."

She buried her face in her hands.

"We're back to square one."

Abby and Jerry had no choice but to cut Janko loose while still under the influence of the sodium pentothal.

Janko staggered out clumsily through the hallway. His light blue shirt was buttoned incorrectly and his tie hung from his neck. His hair always looked in a state of unreadiness. Otherwise, he looked fine.

Luka had just finished seeing to a patient. He did not notice his friend, let alone how extremely loopy he was at this point.

Janko gave Luka a fish-eyed look

"You have pretty eyelashes," he said to Luka.

Luka shoved his friend to the ground, all the while maintaining some dignity. He calmly strode into a trauma room where he was needed, leaving Janko to his intoxicated devices.

Susan, Luka, Ceila and the paediatrician from Canada, Jeff Karamazov (called Jeff from Toronto to distinguish him from the other Jeffs working at the hospital), were treating a patient. Behind the windows, Janko rose from the floor and continued being as loopy as ever. This did not escape the notice of the trauma room staff.

Janko moved his arms frenetically.

"Ride the snake!" he hissed.

Susan gaped.

"What the hell is Plavac doing?"

Luka glanced quickly and offered a nonchalant comment.

"He was drugged with some kind of truth serum. Little did his druggists know that he has an immunity to such things."

"Even Inuit truth sugar?" Ceila quizzed.

Jeff from Toronto challenged her.

"There's no such thing."

Ceila was adamant.

"We'll see about that!"

Jeff from Toronto did not take his young compatriot seriously.

"I think we should contact security if someone is drugging the staff willy-nilly."

Susan shook her head.

"Don't bother," she advised, "this smells of a certain busy-body."

Jeff from Toronto rolled his eyes and tried to focus on his patient while Janko, high as a kite, moved about to the rhythms in his head.

Yesterday was a dream to Janko. When he arrived, he treated patients. The period of time after that was a haze of cloudy memories, including wearing his white lab coat over his head and pretending to be a troll (it scared Carter and various nurses). What bothered him the most was that his friend did not help him. Janko was furious with Luka and would not hesitate to tell him so.

Luka inquired about the lab results of a patient. When he felt the heat of a glare, he stopped and turned around. Janko, usually cheerful, was irate. His rosy complexion became more scarlet.

Luka looked at his friend.

"Janko..."

"I've looked after you," Janko reminded him.

"About yesterday..." Luka tried to say.

Janko huffed.

"Bitch, you can stop right there! You and I have unfinished business, and not a goddamn fuckin' thing you've done in the subsequent years is going to change that!"

Luka squared his jaw.

"What do you suppose we do about this?"

Janko's eyes flashed with anger.

"I have a few ideas..."

Between the two men, an angry space filled up.

Three minutes later, the men were still standing. The anger, at least for Luka, had subsided.

"Um, Janko," Luka started, "don't you think we should do something?"

Janko became angrier.

"Oh! You'd like that, wouldn't you?!"

Luka was puzzled.

"No. I just think we should act or something."

Janko angrily pointed his finger at Luka.

"You'll get yours, Luka! You'll get yours for good!"

With that, Janko stamped away.

Luka was puzzled.

"What does that mean, exactly?"

By now, everyone in the ER knew that Janko the Perpetually Happy Guy from That Place That Kovac Was From was officially angry at Luka. No one knew what this would evolve into and, in some way, it scared them all.

They could hear them arguing as they stepped off the elevator.

"You're forgetting, Kovac!" Janko shouted. "I have Polaroids of you!"

Luka would not be intimidated.

"You don't scare me! That could be anybody's ass!"

Kerry spoke quietly into her micro-corder.

"Note to self: get pictures of Kovac's ass and then the Polaroids for comparison."

Everyone, likewise, resolved to see Kovac's ass.

Janko wouldn't let Luka's evasion pass by him.

"You know what I think of you?" he cried.

As Janko was ranting against Luka, the bay doors burst open and the ambulance sirens sounded.

No one could hear over the din but they could see the shocked and appalled look on Luka's face.

The noise had finally died down.

"How do you like that?!" Janko snapped.

Luka was still appalled.

"You kiss your mother with that mouth?"

Now Luka was mad.

"There's only one way to settle this."

Then the stand-off began.

Frank rolled his eyes.

"Oh great! We get some sissy fight!"

The two men met and, with great force, both kicked each other across the corridor. They shook the dizziness from their heads, sprung up and began to kung-fu fight.

No one could believe it. There was no sissy fighting, no fake fighting, nothing that would suggest some sort of elaborate stunt or girly-man contest. Both men drew on previously unknown kung-fu fighting abilities and tried to kick the shit out of one another.

Gallant had been watching these events from the wings.

"We should do something," he suggested to Pratt.

Pratt huffed.

"Why? You know something good's gonna happen. Why mess with that?"

Indeed, something amazingly cool happened, so cool it could never be uttered or explained in anyway.

Gallant and Pratt moaned. They missed the incredibly cool thing and would never gain witness it.

After the amazingly cool fight between the two enigmatic Croats, things had died down, but not the gossip.

"I think they're on the lam!" Chuny snarked.

Abby was too furious to tell her to cram it.

"I say they're doing this to see how far we'll go to find out some bull on them that doesn't exist," Malik said.

Abby supposed somewhere in the back of her mind that his theory might be true but the lies had been so elaborate.

There _was_ something and she swore she would get to the bottom of it.

Late in the evening in Little Zagreb, only the few brave enough to get drunk staggered in the cold, crisp air. Janko, a man in search of a quick nightcap en route home, walked into Aristotle's place. Old men from the old country were there, their shaky hands stained yellow with years of cigarette use, their voices aged and husky. He saw one man, much, much younger than the others, in the corner. His back was to everyone else, as though he were hiding. Janko knew it was Luka. He walked up to him and slapped him in the back.

"What are you doing here, huh?"

Luka turned around. His eyes were glassy and red. A half smoked cigarette was between his dextrous fingers. There were at least three empty glasses before him. Another half-full glass of vodka (his drink of choice) rested against his arm.

Janko knew immediately that Luka was in one of his phases- the drinking, self-pitying phase. He didn't begrudge his friend now that he was most probably drunk and struck with difficult memories.

Luka smiled.

"Janko, sit down. Let me get you a drink."

Janko saw how drunken Luka was.

"No. It's okay."

Luka nodded and swallowed back the last of his vodka.

"Sit down at least."

Janko sat down.

Luka placed the cigarette in his mouth and then blew out a steady stream of smoke.

"How do you do it?" he asked Janko. "How do you forget and live your life, hhmmm?"

Janko didn't answer right away. It was Danni and the kids he was still thinking about.

"I just do, Šime."

He leaned on the table.

"I just want to live my life. There are still things to live for, you know."

Luka tapped his friend on the face.

"You do, maybe..."

He tried to cheer Luka up.

"What about Student Nurse Kowalski, hhmmm? She's a pretty little girl."

Luka's eyes were still glassy as they stared into space.

"Yeah..." he agreed softly.

He pushed his glass.

"Yep!"

He staggered up.

"I gotta go now."

Luka fumbled in his pockets for a few bills. Janko obliged him.

"I've got it this time."

Luka scruffed Janko's hair.

"Hvala..."

Luka fell onto Janko's shoulder.

"We have to go home. It's late, you know..."

Janko pulled Luka's coat off the coat rack by the door and placed it clumsily over his friend's shoulders.

"You'll catch your death, Šime."

Luka kept his eyes on the floor.

"Yeah, death..."

They were nowhere near Luka's apartment. Janko searched for it fervently.

"Luka, do you even know where you're going? How much did you have to drink?"

Luka grimaced.

"Fuck you, Plavac! I know where I'm going."

He pointed to a familiar-looking building.

"That flat is behind my place."

Luka staggered onto an alley.

"Hang on. I have to pee."

Janko rolled his eyes and waited as his friend relieved himself. He folded his hands and turned away.

"So..." Janko started.

Luka had shut his eyes and lifted his head to the sky.

"Yeah? I'm in the middle of something."

Janko nodded.

"I know that, but Student Nurse Kowalski."

Luka continued his business.

"What about her?"

Janko smiled.

"You like her?"

Luka was gravely silent.

"She is a good girl," he said at last.

Janko smirked.

"They all are."

Janko could measure the annoyance in his friend's voice.

"She's different..."

Luka puffed.

"I don't know why everybody has to know everybody's business...I mean- I went to church with her- ONCE! I met her daddy."

Janko was curious.

"You met whose daddy? Kowalski's?"

Luka nodded reluctantly.

"What? What? I mean- she's a good nurse. Maybe even a doctor. She's bright. She hurries but she's good..."

Janko grinned.

"If you met her daddy at church that means one thing..."

Luka groaned.

"Fuck you, Plavac! You don't know her!"

Janko still grinned.

"But you do!"

"Not that way!" Luka retorted.

Luka finished.

"Besides, she's on rotation and..."

Luka staggered. His voice became low.

"She doesn't like me."

Janko didn't believe him.

"Sure she does."

"How the fuck would you know?" Luka snapped.

Janko would defend himself.

"Hey! I know about this stuff!"

"If you say so..." Luka slurred and collapsed into a snow bank.

Janko rushed to his friend. Luka didn't appear to be hurt, only passed out. He touched his friend's flushed cheek and slung him over his shoulder. He went to the main road and hailed a taxi. One stopped and he eased his friend in.

"County General Hospital, please," he said and the taxi drove on.

Luka wasn't just stone-drunk. He was dead-to-the-world drunk. That is how Carter, Pratt and Jerry saw him when Janko plunked him down on the lounge's couch.

Janko seized on the opportunity, as his friend had failed to look after him a day before.

He turned to Carter, Pratt and Jerry.

"I need a dress, a wig and some make-up."

The three men saw the beauty in the evil Janko was about to commit. They ignored any prior allegiances and agreed whole-heartedly to take part in Janko's devious plan.

Carter kneeled on one knee and touched his clenched fist to his chest.

"Thy will be done, my liege!"

Pratt put his clenched fist to his chest, as well.

"So it is written, so it is done!"

"Qaplah!" Jerry cried and went to fetch the make-up Janko asked for.

Janko looked at his passed-out friend and joined his fingers together.

"Yes, Luka, vengeance will be mine!"

Luka was a beautiful man. Indeed, he was. His high cheekbones, pretty ribbon lips (it was the lipstick that brought it out), his long eyelashes. He was too big for the dress they had put him in but it did not matter. They crowned him with a long-haired brown wig and carried him to the el train. They planted Luka clumsily on the seat of the el train and left.

The train roared away. Jerry, Carter and Pratt laughed at their mischief. Janko only shook his head.

"I really didn't want it to come to this," he sighed.

They re-entered the hospital. They chuckled freely at their newly-committed evil but stopped when the petite incarnation of karma stood before them crossed-armed and steely-eyed.

"What did you do with Dr. Kovac?" Ceila asked.

Carter and Pratt became pale and cold.

"Nothing," they quickly denied.

"He deserved it!" Jerry spat out.

Ceila's blue eyes became much colder and a frown appeared on her face.

"Wrong answer!"

She grabbed Jerry and put the giant into a headlock.

Carter and Pratt, not being stupid, fled.

Janko had long since gone.

Janko skulked out of the ER, looking over his shoulder as he did so, which was extremely odd for him. The tension between him and his erstwhile friend had gotten the better of him. This is what bothered Randi. She chased after him.

"Hey, Plavac!"

Janko spun around in his heels. He smiled when he saw who it was.

"Randi!"

His expression became concerned.

"You shouldn't run in such weather!" he scolded. "It's too cold."

She tilted her head to the side and grimaced.

"I can look after myself, you nob!"

Janko looked chastised. Randi sought to alleviate it.

"Look- do you... have time for coffee or something?"

Janko's expression softened.

"Yes!"

Now he was back to his former happiness.

"I'd like that," he said.

Randi smiled.

"I thought you would."

The coffee shop was practically empty, save for a lone, beefy man hunched over a cold coffee, Janko and Randi. The waitress put cups of coffee in front of them and left them to their own devices.

Janko looked frozen. He kept his hands in his pockets.

"Are you freezing?" Randi asked.

Janko nodded and took the cup to his lips.

"It's not like this back home," he revealed.

"In Croatia?" Randi asked, doubting some of what he said.

He looked at her with bright gray eyes.

"Yes," he admitted. "That part is very true."

Randi sipped her coffee.

"It's just that you keep screwing around with Lockhart."

Janko smiled and sipped his coffee.

"Do you think Lockhart asks because she is interested or simply curious?"

Randi could see what Janko meant. Abby was in for the gossip. She liked it and was always rooting around for some. She supposed it made her feel good to know that there was dirt on someone. Maybe everyone was like that, Randi thought.

"If you work at County General long enough, you'll know that practically everybody's out for the other guy."

Janko shook his head.

"Student Nurse Kowalski isn't like that."

Randi laughed.

"Yeah, she's a different ball of wax."

Randi sipped her coffee again. She let a short spell of silence fall between them.

"So, what did you do before you became a physician's aide?" Randi asked.

Janko looked into the distance.

"Not enough."

Randi looked concerned.

"What does that mean?"

Janko shook his head.

"Nothing," he said lowly.

He composed himself.

"What did you do?"

Randi gulped back some coffee.

"Some stretches in juvie and odd jobs. Why do you ask?"

Janko looked shocked.

"You're a criminal?"

"_Former_ felon!" Randi quickly pointed out.

Janko was taken aback.

"Okay then."

Janko decided he would ask no more questions concerning felonies that may or may not have been committed.

"Um, so..." Janko started uneasily, "did you..."

He excused himself.

"I can't think of a way to finish this question."

Randi sipped her coffee.

"Then don't."

Janko was dismayed.

"Then how can I ask you about things you like, colours that appeal to you, family members that have, at one stage, made you laugh at inappropriate moments or foods that you like eating on a regular basis?"

Randi put her coffee down and laughed. She could see the sheepish look of Janko. He was earnest in his desire to know about her, something she hadn't experienced with other men whose interest lay in her pants and little else.

"I like it when no one bothers me about stupid crap like what they should paint their living room (like I care) and let me paint my nails. I like sleeping in on week-ends. I had an uncle that made me crack up at family friend's funeral. He was always doing that. He still does. Spaghetti is always good. BLTs, but not after dental work, and, of course, strawberries."

Janko lit up.

"I see."

He kept his sparkly eyes low and sipped his coffee.

"I think I know more about you than the other people you work with, yes?" he asked.

Randi didn't look at him.

"Nobody really knows anybody, not completely, anyway."

Janko looked at her seriously.

"Yes, perhaps."

He leaned forward, joining his fingers together.

"But, sometimes, you can know enough, to be good friends...or great lovers."

She caught the cautious gleam in his eyes.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

Janko smiled softly, almost conciliatorily.

"Just that, we end up knowing all we need to know to make ourselves live with others we want to live with."

He shrugged.

"That's all."

Randi relaxed into a smile. She leaned back in her chair.

"What is the story with you and Kovac?"

Janko shook his head.

"It's not what anyone thinks. We are old friends."

Randi and Janko leaned forward and reminisced.

An hour later, they were still in the coffee shop, talking about odds and ends, with little of it revealing anything about anyone else other than themselves.

"There was a _room_ in which I could _panic_," Janko explained. "However, I hadn't gotten around to building it so Luka was able to force me and my daughter out while he made off with my plasma screen TV."

Janko formed a fist.

"And I'll get that bastard for that!"

Randi laughed.

"How do you make this shit up?"

Janko was serious.

"Who says I'm making this up?"

Randi rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, sure."

But Janko insisted.

"When is your birthday?" Randi asked.

"July 23rd," he replied. "July- a very warm month. And you?"

"November."

Janko joined his hands together carefully.

"Will you..." he started. "Will you...see me again?"

"What?" Randi asked incredulously. "Like- go out with you?"

He nodded.

Randi laughed.

"Look, I just met you. I don't know you."

He huffed in return.

"You said so yourself. No one really knows anyone. You know what you should about me- my name is Janko. I am from Croatia. Luka is my friend. I am a physician's aide. I like strawberries and, above all, I like you."

He looked a little shy when he said it.

Randi was taken aback.

"You do? Why?"

He shrugged.

"Why not?"

Before she could refuse, she caught the constant gleam in his innocent gray eyes and his dopey smile. His reddish-blond hair stuck up every which way in small spikes.

"Yeah, I guess," she relented.

Janko nodded.

"You won't regret this!" he promised and shook her hand heartily. "I'll prepare something for you! You'll love it!"

"Let me take you home," he said.

"I can go by myself," she said.

"I won't let you think about walking by yourself. Let me walk you at least to the train," he offered.

They made their way out into the cold night.

"Besides, if Luka wakes up, I'm a dead man if I don't have protection."

"What was that?" Randi asked.

"Nothing," Janko denied.

And each took their lives into their own hands.

February 8

It was still cold but the snow had finally let up. Janko waited outside of Randi's one room apartment. The halls had not been painted and there were at least five different fire hazards in and around the building. Janko had seen worse but decided not to say anything. He simply waited for Randi to come to the door.

Randi pulled the door of her apartment open. She was wearing a dark blue silk Mandarin-collar blouse. It became her, Janko thought.

He raised his hands.

"Surprise!"

Randi gaped.

"What?"

He pulled out a bottle of red wine from the folds of his coat.

"I have this and..."

He pulled out a basket from behind him.

"This."

Randi gawked at Janko and his gifts.

"May I come in?" Janko asked.

Janko looked about the apartment really quickly and set up his gifts.

Randi looked confused.

"I thought we were going to some fancy French place."

Janko was blasé about the matter.

"If I knew a fancy French place."

He waved his arm about his gifts.

"Besides where are you going to have a picnic in this cold and snow?"

He bade her to sit down on the floor.

"Maybe Student Nurse Kowalski can because she is so used to snow and everything, but not me!"

He showed Randi what appeared to be an expensive bottle of wine.

"Pinot Noir."

He opened the bottle and poured some into wine glasses he had brought with him.

"Try some."

Randi hesitated. She then sat awkwardly on the floor and accepted the glass of wine.

Janko then rifled around for a plastic tub of strawberries.

"Your favourite!"

"Um..." Randi started, "when I said I liked strawberries, it was like the first thing that came to my mind."

"If it was the first thing, then you must like them," Janko supposed.

He tapped her glass with his.

"For you."

Janko sipped the wine. Randi did not touch it.

"Don't you like it?" he asked. "It's a good year."

"Don't you have vodka?" she asked.

He smiled.

"Not today."

He dug into the strawberries.

"I also have this cheese," he said as rummaged around for another plastic tub. "I was gonna bring some soup but I thought maybe not."

Randi shook her head and looked the other way.

"Nah, it's okay."

Janko stared at her, noting the cords in her turned neck.

"It's not that French place you spoke of but it is different."

Randi looked back at him.

"Yeah, it is."

Again, his strawberry-blond hair was in short little spikes going this way and that and a nice little tie that looked like it was from Saville Row. He was happy, as usual, and he noticed her. It made her feel uncomfortable. He was staring at her like other men had done before. She stopped herself before she would say something that would ruin the evening. There had been enough run-up to try something if that was his intention. Whatever he wanted, she thought, it wasn't the usual.

Randi offered an awkward smile.

"Hey, what music do you like?"

Janko smiled back.

"I like it when you ask me questions, Randi. It makes me think you like me, too."

"You still didn't answer me," she returned dryly.

He peered intently at her CDs lopsidedly stacked on a dilapidated shelf.

"Do you have Ella Fitzgerald?"

Randi furrowed her brow.

"Who?"

Janko's face went blank.

"This is going to be a long night."

Janko found a CD in his car. Randi found she liked this Ella Fitzwilliams or whatever her name was. She was not Teenage Head but her voice was nice and mellow.

The night seemed to go on for hours but in reality it had been only two. Half of the food Janko brought had been eaten. They reclined on the hard vinyl floor and talked as they had done a few nights before. Their hands were tucked under their heads and they looked right at one another.

"Why don't you want to see me?" Janko asked.

Randi, stunned by the question and Janko's perception, lifted her head slightly.

"Says who? I..."

Janko smiled gently.

"I'm not a child. I think you're trying to avoid me. I don't know why. Am I doing something wrong?"

She rested her head down once more.

"I'm gonna level with you. I don't go out with guys like you."

Janko shrugged.

"Why?"

Randi huffed.

"'Cause."

That would not satisfy Janko.

"Because why?"

He leaned closer.

"If you don't want me to leave, I won't. So- do you?"

Randi smiled and shook her head.

"Nah, you can stay."

Janko felt at ease. He relaxed.

They stayed still even after the music stopped.

February 9

Janko was more than happy. He had a job he looked forward to every morning, friendly faces to see, neighbourhood dogs to pet. Above all, he had a girl to shovel snow for (the snow had returned). The world was his slimy yet delicious oyster.

That was until he was clotheslined.

When he looked up, he saw his tall, strapping and manly friend, Luka, crouched over him with girlish wig in hand. He threw it back on his downed friend's face.

"See you at Aristotle's later," Luka said walking away.

Janko removed the wig from his face. He supposed now they were square.

Janko was, at first, a hard guy to pin down, Randi thought. He was always cheerful, smiling, and oblivious to everything but his own joy. She had been used to guys trying to get their way with her but they had never been as sophisticated as Janko. It took until last night for Randi to realise that Janko was genuinely fond of her. He could see her hesitation and called her on it. Had he been out for her body, he would have made his move and left. As things would have it, he didn't, save the hours of conversation and cheese. He asked her to come to his apartment. She could play the music she liked. Randi would, however, be satisfied with whatever he liked. He was, after all, the real deal.

February 13

After work, Randi and Janko retired to his apartment, a nice yet modest apartment in Little Zagreb.

Randi had never been to Janko's apartment before. It wasn't what she had expected. It was clean, orderly and nicely furnished. He had on that CD again- the Ella one.

The day had been long. Neither of them wanted to do anything much other than eat whatever was in Janko's fridge and listen to something that didn't grate their ears like that screaming lady did earlier. The weather was still cold but the weatherman promised the cold spell wouldn't last. They hoped so but for now they only shut themselves from the world.

Janko held Randi in the moonlight and peeked through the frosted window. She liked being this close to him.

Janko turned Randi to face him and gazed at her seriously.

"I want to ask you something shocking but I do hope you won't be shocked because, even though I've known you a short time, I know that I can make one such as you happy."

Randi didn't know what to say.

"Let's go to Las Vegas, then," she suggested. "I always wanted to go there."

He laughed a little and consented.

Randi embraced him and looked at the snow falling outside.

"Window seat."

He rested his head against hers.

"Alright then."

February 14

Canadians are generally nice people, Frank thought. Sure, they had an army their government wouldn't support and were generally lazy about the people they let in (particularly those who wouldn't call themselves Canadian unless they needed to be airlifted from somewhere), but deep down they had a decency about them that was unmistakable. This was evidenced by the Canadian staff giving one of their own a nice cake for her birthday. Mary-Penelope Halloran (Wise was her married name) had her birthday- on St. Valentine's Day, no less- and everyone was there to wish her well. Frank, for his part, left her a birthday card on her desk in the radiology department (signed anonymously), He looked on as the Canadians wished her a happy birthday.

Penny grinned as she held the cake.

"You guys remembered."

Everyone was in a good humour.

In another less snowy part of the country, two people prepared for another event.

After a slightly delayed flight, a bout of blackjack and a round of drinks, Janko and Randi, having abandoned all custom, readied themselves in the wedding chapel before a rather loudly argumentative couple would tie the knot. It was time.

There was only one way to do this.

Janko, dressed in a button fly shirt and leisure suit, waited for Randi.

The minister glanced quickly at his watch and then cleared his throat. He had to marry the arguing couple next.

Randi finally appeared, apparelled in a red and orange sequined dancer's dress and huge feathered headdress. She strolled down the aisle, smiling at Janko the whole time.

Not even the gold medallion or Randi's heavily-sequined dancer's costume could outshine Janko's smile.

The minister, with the ennui of one who had performed ceremonies numerous times, rattled off the marriage rites.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered, ect..." he muttered and turned the page of a well-thumbed prayer book.

"Do you, Janko Plavac, take Miranda Fronczac to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

Janko clucked and pointed a delighted finger at the minister.

"Sock it to me, baby!"

The minister frowned.

"_Don't_ call me _baby_."

"I do," Janko re-answered and smiled at Randi.

The minster turned to Randi.

"Do you, Miranda Fronczac, take Janko Plavac to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

Randi's face did not change. Her eyes gleamed and her composure was as sure as her answer.

"I do."

Janko breathed a sigh of relief.

"Good," he said softly, "because not only did I not want to live without you, but I ordered some food for later."

Randi laughed.

"Make this official, will ya?" she urged the minister.

The minister obliged her.

"By the powers vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife. Please move aside."

Janko and Randi embraced and fell into a deep kiss, an act of love crudely interrupted by the bickering couple.

Three AM.

They ate the steaks and drank the champagne Janko ordered and made love. Now they looked on the lights of Las Vegas.

"All the world cannot know how happy I am," Janko smiled.

Randi rested her head in the nook of his shoulder.

"I have some more champagne."

Janko laughed and squeezed Randi closer to him.

Early morning in the Mojave was marked red, orange and light purple in the sky. Closer to the city, people barely stirred from their slumber.

Randi was asleep. Janko, feeling hungry, ordered breakfast and reached for the phone. There was someone (actually- there were many people) he had to share his good news with.

Frank handed the phone to Luka.

"Dr. Kovac, it's for you. It's Plavac."

Luka took the phone and spoke.

"Zdravo. Hey, man! Where are you?"

Luka suddenly scowled.

"Are you shitting me?"

Everyone stopped what they were doing and eavesdropped on Luka's conversation.

"What? Did she get a job there?"

Response.

"What do you mean she wanted it?"

Some yelling on the other end.

"What the hell do you mean?" Luka shouted. "Don't you give me that, you kuja! You never asked me! You never told me!"

Janko responded in kind.

"No, jebi se!"

What did that mean?

"No! Fuck YOU!" Luka shouted back and slammed the phone down.

That's what it meant.

Everyone did their best to pretend that they were not listening.

When Luka stormed away, they all converged to discuss what they heard.

"What was Plavac saying?" Chuny asked.

Abby shook her head.

"Better not press Luka about it," she warned. "The last time he was that mad, there was death, blood and fire."

Her eyes were enlarged.

"And hell followed with him."

Given that apocalyptic image, nothing more was said, and the matter was pursued no further.

On the plane trip back, Randi saw how unusually distracted Janko was and it was not in the good, child-like way he always effected. He looked out the airplane window and bit on his knuckle.

"Why so gloomy?" Randi asked.

Janko, moved from his distraction, looked at his bride.

"Sorry?"

She touched his shoulder.

"Why you so blue?"

Janko's eyes looked to his lap.

"I told my family," he said. "My elder sister was excited. But when I told Luka..."

Randi was appalled.

"Why would Kovac be so uncool with this?"

Randi was furious.

"This is not like him, completely and totally!"

She formed a fist.

"I don't care if he is Darth Vader, he's up for some serious busta fazoo!"

Janko shook his head.

"No, Randi, please."

He touched her hands.

"I'll talk to him."

He chuckled in an off-hand way.

"He's probably just surprised. That's all."

Janko leaned back in his seat.

"That's it," he muttered and shut his eyes.

Randi bit her lip and fingered her fashion magazine tensely. If Janko was nervous, things must be really bad.

Janko carried Randi into his apartment.

"I really don't care for this crap," she said dryly.

Janko disbelieved her.

"Of course you do!"

She groaned.

He laid her on his couch. He pressed his lips to hers.

"Now, I will get some wine and we will forget that there is even a world outside."

Her eyes brightened.

"Getting drunk and getting laid?" she enthusiastically enquired.

He tilted his head to the side.

"Something like that."

She reclined on the couch, placing her arm under her head.

"Then let's get it on!"

After getting it on (as Randi had put it), they rested. Janko now busied himself at his laptop, sending e-mails to friends and family and uploading pictures from his digital camera. There was a knock on the door, loud and with purpose. Janko knew it could be one person.

Luka was at the door, evidence of a recent snowfall on his shoulders. He looked chagrined, sorry he had caused offence.

"Janko," he tried to smile. "Did I disturb you?"

Janko could not return Luka's friendliness.

"What are you doing here?" he asked. "I thought you didn't approve of my new marriage."

Luka cast his eyes down.

"Can I come in? Please?"

Janko moved aside and allowed him in.

"It's really snowing out there," Luka said.

"Get to the point," Janko pressed.

"I am sorry," Luka apologised. "About what I said."

Janko huffed and glared at his friend.

"You think you could be happy for me."

Luka looked chagrined.

"I am happy," he managed.

Janko was incredulous.

"I'm sure you are! You're angry, angry that I moved on."

Janko fingered the sleeve of his red sweater.

"I wish _you_ could move on."

Luka's eyes were glass and his strong jaw quivered.

"You know I can't do that."

"Bulllshit!" Janko cussed. "I did!"

He crossed his arms.

"You think you lost, huh?"

Luka balanced himself between rage and bitterness.

"You didn't lose what I did."

Janko nodded.

"Yeah, you're right, but you could gain what I did."

Janko walked toward the door and held it open, pointing the way for Luka.

"You just won't."

He pointed outward again.

"You can go."

Luka hung his head and left.

"I will see you at work," he said softly.

"Yeah," Janko shot out quickly without looking at his friend.

Janko shut the door and buried his face in his hands.

Janko finished his third glass of wine. Randi shuffled out of the bedroom where she had slept off her wine and sex stupor and slumped on the couch next to Janko.

"You know, if you're gonna be blue all the time, you might wanna look the part."

Janko chuckled.

"You know my family name means blue."

"No kiddin'," Randi mused.

Janko nodded and poured some more wine.

"Luka stopped by."

Randi brushed her hair back.

"Did you belt him one for me?"

Janko shook his head.

"No, I couldn't do that to him."

Janko's eyes locked on the falling snow.

"I just...just want him to be happy for me. I know he's had bad things happen to him..."

Randi shook her head.

"That's no reason."

Janko nodded.

"Yeah, but..."

He looked at her.

"He's like a brother to me."

"My brothers pummel me," she informed her husband.

Janko nodded.

"Well, I would hate to lose what I have with him."

She slapped her hand on his shoulder.

"You know what? I think Kovac understands you more than anybody, even if you were to hit him, which I think you should."

Janko laughed and kissed Randi's forehead.

"You always say good things."

Randi rose from the couch.

"Yeah, well, after you hit him in the nose, let him know that blah-blah about family. That, and his snide remarks just upped his gift quota."

Janko agreed.

"Absolutely."

Luka looked down on the snow-covered streets of Little Zagreb and the lights that illuminated them.

He had blown it. He had heard Abby use that expression. He ruined things with his best friend because- as Janko was so right to point out- he moved on. Luka thought about Danielja, Abby, even the student nurse and thought about Janko. There was a future for the taking. He wanted it, yet was afraid.

There was a knock on the door.

Luka opened the door and was greeted with a punch to the nose.

"Fuck me!" he exclaimed.

Janko made his way in.

"Yeah, something like that."

Luka held his nose.

"There's a present for you and Randi on the coffee table."

Janko took a rather sizeable box from the coffee table and made his way out again.

"Thanks, man. See you at work?"

Luka nodded.

"Sure."

Janko and Randi's return to work was greeted with a flurry of good wishes and a silent apology from a certain old friend from the old country. Ceila greeted them with a good luck gift from Canada (they had no idea what it was but took it anyway, to be polite).

Abby mingled with the well-wishers. She kept close to Randi. When Randi finally extricated herself from the nauseating shrill congratulations, Abby crept to her side.

"Randi!" Abby cheered. "Marriage adds a glow to you!"

Randi ignored her compliment and shuffled some paperwork.

"Forget it, Lockhart! My lips are sealed to his lips, and maybe other parts of his body," she added saucily.

Abby was appalled.

"Ew! You don't know where his body has been!"

Randi laughed drolly and stuck a lollipop in her mouth.

"I do now!"

Abby pouted, her puffy lips forming a duck-like beak of irritation. Her resolve to figure out the mystery of Janko grew stronger, as did her determination to take out anyone who got in her way. Except Randi, she cautioned herself, because she was deadly.

Lizzie came out from a surgery that took longer than expected. She removed the cap that covered her curly hair and rubbed the stress from her brow. Janko, the current Euro-staff stuffer, was being congratulated on his recent nuptials to the less-than-law-abiding desk clerk. She thought it best to offer her good wishes, even if she didn't know him. She walked over to Janko.

"Plavac, I'd like to offer you my fondest wishes for everything," she smiled.

She barely knew Janko and Janko barely knew her. Still, he thanked her for her kindness.

"Thank you."

"You've wrapped your wedding and honeymoon in one trip," a nurse supposed.

Janko shook his head.

"No, I'll take her to Croatia to see my family, and maybe Spain."

Lizzie was curious.

"Oh really? Spain is quite nice this time of year. Where exactly would you go?"

A nurse chimed in.

"Almeria?"

They looked at her.

"That's what Abby said," she informed.

Janko shook his head vigorously.

"Oh no! Almeria is where we used to go and, my God! did things get crazy!"

Janko stopped himself.

"But that's in the past. It's not important."

Lizzie could feel herself going pale, like when Luka's mother showed up at the ER. Something big- and scandalous- was in the air, and Lizzie had to get to the bottom of it.

"Do tell us about Almeria," Lizzie gently implored.

Janko's gray eyes shifted in his skull.

"Well, it's not like there are Basque folksongs about Šime's exploits or hordes of illegitimate children if _that's_ what you mean."

This implausible denial, of course, only served to further whet Lizzie's appetite.

"You don't say."

Janko nodded.

"Yeah."

He clapped his hands together.

"Anyway, thank you everyone."

He turned on his heel and left them.

Lizzie swallowed hard.

"You learn something new everyday."

If Luka and Janko were at odds, no one could sense it today. They were still up to their regular, co-ordinated mind-fucks. Dr. Newport was the recipient of such psychological warfare. His leering of the student nurse had not gone unnoticed. It was time, so the two Croats had thought to deal with this lechery before it became full-blown. They cornered him in the lounge and pressed him as to his intentions with the young woman. Dr. Newport denied such attentions but the two would have none of it.

"We see you looking at her like that!" Luka pointed out. "And it makes us angry!"

He swivelled his head to his comrade-in-arms.

"What do you do when you are angry, Janko?"

Janko put on safety goggles, plastic gloves and revved up a power drill.

Luka shook his head.

"NO! The _other_ thing!"

Janko scratched his head.

"I forget."

Luka reminded him.

"We tell his wife."

Janko nodded as the memory became clear.

"Ah, yes."

Dr. Newport shook his head and tried pleading with them.

"No, no, no! I won't look at her again! I swear!"

Luka nodded.

"You bet you won't!"

Dr. Newport slunk away and hid in the recesses of his office on the upper floors.

Luka dusted off his hands.

"And that is that!"

Janko looked forlornly at his power drill.

"Can I play with this?"

"Not today," Luka regretted.

Janko was sad.

Abby was ready. Janko had screwed her over, as had Luka (those months of Thai food had meant nothing to him, apparently), and now Randi refused to be co-operative. Every effort thus far had been ineffective. Abby still would try the pharmaceutical route, however. She would just have to mix up the formulae a bit. Janko couldn't have an immunity to everything, she thought. Abby prepared a vial with a miniature syringe at the end (like a dart) and attached it to a pneumatic hose. It was an impromptu truth gun and, when the time was right, she would fire from the grassy knoll of the chart rack.

She hid behind the rack and peeked behind it. Janko was there, discussing something with Luka and the Canadian student nurse. She primed her weapon, shut one eye and waited for the right moment.

Abby fired her truth drug gun. It missed Janko, hitting Ceila instead. Abby winced.

The girl did not cry out. Instead, her face contorted to an expression of surprise and pain. It grew red and her bright blue eyes became watery.

"What the fuck did you shoot me with?!" she screamed.

Abby fumbled.

"Um, don't pull it out just yet. That could prove disastrous."

Under normal circumstances, no one could believe that Abby would be capable of such a thing, but since Janko had arrived, anything was possible.

Luka swivelled his head to Abby before returning his attentions to Ceila.

"What is the matter with you?"

Carter and Janko tried to assist Ceila. Luka pulled out the dart from Ceila's leg. He ordered Carter to get some gauze. Jerry, likewise, moved over to Ceila to see if he could help. He blanched a little when Luka checked her pupils, which dilated and constricted in soft blue circles.

"Uh," Jerry stammered, "are her eyes supposed to do that?"

Luka shook his head.

Carter had returned with the gauze.

"She is, as we say in medical circles, screwed."

They thought it best to leave Ceila until it could be determined what and how much was given- rather, injected- to her. Until then, Ceila was affected by Abby's misfire and Abby was in the dog pound.

Romano had come down and was apprised of the situation.

Ceila was as Janko was a few days before, loopy and extremely friendly.

She stroked Romano's head.

"Wow! Your head is so smooth! How do you do that?!"

Romano tried to hide his annoyance.

"Lockhart, what did you inject Kowalski with?"

Abby looked really guilty.

"A mixture of ecstasy, sodium pentothal and some other stuff."

Romano huffed.

"I don't even want to know how you acquired that stuff but you should know that you are in a world of..."

A voice came over the scanner. Ceila ran over to it excitedly.

"Wow! Are they talking about me?!" she squealed excitedly.

Ceila touched Luka's face.

"Dr. Kovac, you have pretty eyelashes!"

He placed his hand on her head and she fell to the floor.

"This has to stop," he said.

Luka marched over to Abby.

"I have no idea why you intrude in business that is not yours but for once will you see how completely reckless you are in trying to find out things you have no right to look into?"

Romano wanted to put everything to bed immediately.

"Lockhart, you're suspended. Get your purse and your ass out of here now!"

Abby bowed her head and went to get her things. Her search for the truth would have to resume another day.

Romano sighed heavily and moved for the sweep-up.

"Carter, give Kowalski some naloxene and have her sleep it off."

Before Romano left, he addressed Luka.

"Oh, and Kovac, next time, don't invite your friends here to play."

Luka grimaced and turned away to help Ceila.

Carter shook his head.

"Nah, you take suture room two. I'll put her in a treatment room and let her sleep."

Luka hesitated and then backed away to suture room two where a patient was waiting.

Carter picked Ceila up from the floor. He looked around and then burst behind a curtain.

"Why?!" he cried melodramatically. "Why?!"

Everyone behind the curtain was shocked and flustered at the limp young woman in the distraught "stranger's" arms.

It was before five and still snowing (the weatherman said the snow would stop sooner or later). Luka and Janko were preparing to leave (something to do with Randi cooking for them even though she seriously doubted she would).

Kerry tensely moved through the motions of work, with Abby's pet curiosity now itching under her skin. She dropped her pen on the counter.

"Alright!" she cried. "Tell me the truth. For once and for all so we can get back to work and live as human beings! Tell me your back story or I will explode!" she demanded.

Luka sighed.

"We can hide the truth no longer."

Carter fetched a chair and sat down.

"Oh, these are always good!"

"We weren't always friends..." Janko remembered.

Janko, samurai sword in hand, kicked the trailer door open. His eye popped open wide.

An old foe had literally re-surfaced.

Luka jump-kicked Janko. Janko flew back but quickly got to his feet. He couldn't get the sword out of its scabbard. He deflected the blows Luka quickly offered him. Janko struck Luka in the head with the unsheathed sword and Luka fell back. Janko tried to jump-kick Luka but Luka grabbed him and sent him crashing through the wall and into the bathroom. Luka tried to drown Janko in the toilet, then in a sink of dirty socks and finally in a goldfish bowl. None of these proved successful in killing Janko. Janko hit Luka in the face and sent him flying back in the den. Janko ran to get the sword left behind in the struggle. Luka came to and began searching frantically for a weapon to kill his greatest foe. There was a Smith and Wesson, an axe, Maxwell's silver hammer and next to it the hammer of justice, a nine-iron, a magic eightball, an old carpenter's knife, dull and rusty (put in the maybe pile) and finally a katana, the ancient weapon of the samurai. Luka took it from its place on the wall. He read the inscription on its shiny steel surface- _To Cameron, Merry Christmas, Love, Mom and Dad, 1973._

"This will do!" Luka swore.

Now Janko and Luka stood face-to-face.

Kerry rubbed the stress from her brow.

"Please don't say anymore. I haven't seen the movie yet."

Carter laughed and slapped his knee.

"Great, as usual! Could have used a car chase but I got my money's worth!"

Kerry demanded to hear no more as it was extremely obvious that she would never wheedle the truth from either Croat.

"But you have to hear the ending," Luka insisted.

He formed a fist.

"Then I got that bastard, Phil, for trying to kill my daughter!"

Kerry left before things got too outlandish.

They stood in the streets of Laredo- the Good, the Bad, the Okay.

Janko the Stranger with a Fistful of Euros readied his pistol in the showdown against the Tall Stranger in Black, Luka.

"We got some unfinished business to tend to, you and me," Janko swore.

Luka lit his cigarillo.

"I reckon we do."

The whole town was there to watch the stand-off- Abby the School-Teacher, Frank the Town-Sherif, Snowbird the orphaned Inuit girl...

Ceila, now out of her drugged state, rubbed her eyes and questioned the details of Janko's spaghetti Western.

"What's an Inuit girl doing in Mexico?" she asked.

Carter huffed.

"Kowalski, you ruined the mood!"

Too tired to argue with Carter, she let him rail against her while Luka and Janko made their way out into the snow.

Randi had cooked up steaks for supper and helped herself to the wine Luka had brought.

Luka threw his napkin down on the table.

"It was good," he complimented. "Thank you."

Randi grimaced.

"Yeah, well, don't expect it all the time."

Luka, sensing she was still stung by his previous slight, took the hint.

"I guess I should go."

Janko looked disappointed.

"But what about coffee?"

Luka politely refused.

"No, I should go."

He pointed to the snow.

"If I don't leave now, I may never get home."

He took his coat and bade Randi and Janko good night. Randi casually waved and finished off her wine.

"Okay, I'm not doing the dishes. I cooked."

Janko took the dishes into the kitchen.

"I'll let them soak."

"Good idea," Randi piped.

Outside the cosy warmth of Janko and Randi's apartment, snow fell in huge clumps. Another snow storm.

Janko poured more red wine for himself and his new wife.

"It's a good thing we don't have work tomorrow," Janko commented as he sat down on the couch with Randi. "I would hate to go out in all this snow."

The neck of the blue turtleneck reached just under Janko's chin.

Randi laughed.

"What?" Janko asked incredulously.

Randi beamed.

"You."

She reached over and kissed him full on the lips.

The two slid down, neglectful of their red wine and oblivious to the falling snow outside.


End file.
